Rabbi Blog

(A PDF version of this is available here. While I prepared a version of it before I began vacation, I have made some minor changes/corrections based on updates.
Please note we will have minyan on Shiva Asar B'Tammuz (Thursday) at 6:10 AM and 8:00 PM.
Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any urgent shailos on the fast day - I will be accessible by phone.)

Dear QJC Family,

Very soon, we will begin to mark the period known as “The Three Weeks” during which we mourn the destruction of the Beit Ha-Mikdash and our ongoing state of exile. In Hebrew, it is known as “Bein Ha-Metzarim.” There is a pasuk in Eicha that says:
גָּלְתָה יְהוּדָה מֵעֹנִי וּמֵרֹב עֲבֹדָה הִיא יָשְׁבָה בַגּוֹיִם לֹא מָצְאָה מָנוֹחַ כָּל רֹדְפֶיהָ הִשִּׂיגוּהָ בֵּין הַמְּצָרִים
– “Judah has gone into exile Because of misery and harsh oppression; When she settled among the nations, She found no rest; All her pursuers overtook her In the narrow places.” The Midrash explains that the term בין המצרים refers to the three weeks between Shiva Asar B’Tammuz and Tisha B’Av.

Here is a short guide that will address a number of matters pertaining to this time period, and I will also address issues that are specific to our observance this year. Please feel free to reach out to me if you have any specific/personal questions. Much of this guide reflects Ashkenazic practice; if you are Sefardi and are unsure of your practice, please consult with me or a Sefardi rabbi.

Shiva Asar B’Tammuz – Thursday, July 9, 2020

• According to the Gemara (Taanit 26b), Shiva Asar B’Tammuz commemorates the day that the first Ten Commandments were broken, the korban tamid (daily offering) was discontinued, the walls of Yerushalayim were breached, and Apostamos burned a Torah and placed an idol in the Beit Ha-Mikdash. According to the Gemara, it was only during the Second Temple period during which the walls were breached on the 17th of Tammuz, but as indicated by Tanakh, during the First Temple period, the walls were breached on the 9th of Tammuz. Since the second destruction was more severe and still affects us, we observe the latter date, even though the fast overall is based on a biblical institution (Zechariah 8:19).
• The fast begins at 4:21 am and ends at 9:04 pm.
• If you would like to eat before the fast begins, you should stipulate that before going to sleep the night before.
• Shacharis will take place in shul at 6:10 AM and Mincha/Maariv at 8:00 PM.
• For those not davening with a minyan, please keep the following in mind:

                   o   No changes in silent Shemoneh Esrei for Shacharis.
                   o   After Shemoneh Esrei, say Selichos (the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy should only be sung with Torah trope when said without a minyan, as they are devarim she-bikdusha), Avinu Malkeinu, and Thursday tachanun (beginning with Vehu Rachum).
                   o   At Mincha, add “Aneinu” in Shema Koleinu and say Sim Shalom instead of Shalom Rav. Avinu Malkeinu, followed by Tachanun.

• It is important to be mindful of the mood of the day – meant to instill a sense of mourning and to arouse teshuva – and to choose activities accordingly. See below for suggestions.
•  Be sure to hydrate the day before the fast starts.
•  If you begin to feel sick, you may break your fast, even if it is not a life-threatening “pikuach nefesh” situation.

                   o   Please be especially careful, given the COVID-19 situation.
                   o   Pregnant and nursing women need not fast.
                   o   If you normally take medicine with water and it is difficult to take without water, it is recommended to either add something bitter or use mouthwash. If those options are not possible, it is permissible to take the medicine with the smallest quantity of water possible.
                   o   It is permissible to brush teeth and use mouthwash. Rav Hershel Schachter allows the use of Listerine PocketPaks as well. One should be careful not to swallow water.

Torah During Bein Ha-Metzarim
Rabbi Kerbel will give the following shiurim related to Tisha B’av Themes:

• Tuesday, July 21 at 7:00 PM – Imagining the Future Redemption
• Tuesday, July 28 at 7:00 PM – Eicha: How We Sit Alone
• Thursday, July 30 at 6:00 PM – The Role of Prayer on Tisha B’av, or Lack Thereof
• Special Nine Days Achdus Program will take place virtually on July 26, 2020, featuring world renowned rabbonim and educators across the frum community. Please click here to see more details.

Please feel free to also listen to Rabbi Kerbel’s past shiurim on topics related to this season (accessible on YUTorah.org):

• All the Mitzvot: Reasons for Exile in Tanakh and Chazal
• From Beit Hamikdash to Mikdash Me’at: How Do We Treat Shul?

I encourage everyone, whether you are able or not to attend shiurim, to learn Torah related to the themes of the season over the course of the three weeks. Some recommended resources include

• YUTorah.org will have special online shiurim live for this year during this time. Please see the sidebar for more information. You can find other shiurim from previous years on the site as well.
• Maggid Book’s Three Weeks Companion
• In the Narrow Straits by Dr. Erica Brown
• The Lord is Righteous in All His Ways edited by Rabbi Jacob J. Schacter (based on kinos explanations by Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik zt”l)
• Jeremiah by Rabbi Binyamin Lau
• Virtual Beit Midrash
• Of course, relevant sections in Tanach and classic halachic works that address the laws of this time period.
  
  

General Bein Ha-Metzarim Practices (from July 9-21)

• We refrain from making the blessing Shehechiyanu during the Three Weeks, in order to minimize our joy (Maharil) and/or because we experience a sense of tragedy that does not call for thanking God for allowing us to reach this time (Magen Avraham). Therefore, one should not buy new clothing upon which one would say Shehechiyanu. One should also avoid buying new cars, appliances, or other items that give one joy. However, if the item(s) in question benefit more than one person (such as a family), the berakha may be Ha-Tov v’Ha-Meitiv, and one could purchase them. If waiting until later would incur financial loss, or the item will not be available, one may be lenient to purchase, although it may be advisable to not use it until after Tisha B’av. 
• We do not conduct weddings during the three weeks, although a couple may get engaged during this period. In a similar vein, we do not attend live musical performances. Some say that one may not listen to any music at all, even privately; others say a cappella music is acceptable but not instrumental; others say that only live music is prohibited. Even if one listens to music, it should still reflect the mood of this time period. Additionally, even if one is lenient during Sefirat Ha-Omer, it may be appropriate to be more stringent during the Three Weeks since music was part of the Beit Ha-Mikdash rituals, and we mourn that absence.
  Rav Hershel Schachter has said that this year, if one is at risk of being depressed due to the current situation, one may listen to music if it helps keep to maintain a healthy mood. Especially before Shabbos, he feels it is appropriate to listen to cheerful Shabbos music, even during the nine days.
  
• Social gatherings and celebrations in general should be avoided during this time.
• Haircuts are prohibited during this period. Many men do not shave at all during this period, even on Erev Shabbat. However, Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik zt”l held that one who shaves every day may do so during this period; certainly, if it is necessary for one’s livelihood it is permitted.
• Some poskim recommend avoiding risky activities during this period as well as particularly fun and pleasurable activities, although these prohibitions are not explicit. Some recommend this specifically for the Nine Days.
  
  

The Nine Days (from July 22-29)

• The Talmud says משנכנס אב ממעטין בשמחה – when Av enters, we diminish our joy. Some poskim and communities only applied some of the prohibitions above to this period. Either way, we increase our mourning practices during the first nine (or this year, ten) days of Av.
• There is a widespread custom to not eat meat or drink wine during this period to commemorate the discontinuation of the sacrifices and to minimize our joy. This does not apply to both of the Shabbatot that fall during the Nine Days. When making havdalah on Motzaei Shabbat (August 3), one should use beer, coffee, or pure orange juice.
• We do not do laundry or dry cleaning, even if a non-Jew does it for us. This applies to both clothes (other than undergarments) and non-clothing items (such as linens and towels). Likewise, we do not wear freshly laundered clothing, even if it was done before the Nine Days began. There are exceptions:
• We wear fresh clothing on Shabbat as we normally would.
• One may wash children’s clothes if necessary.
• If one wishes to do laundry before the Nine Days, briefly throwing them on the floor or wearing them before use is permitted.
• Rama writes that Ashkenazic practice is to refrain from bathing during the entire nine days. However, nowadays we shower more frequently, and it is unreasonable to go a week without showering. One should therefore bathe regularly, but it is best to shower in cooler water and for a shorter period of time than normal.
• Barring potential financial loss, men should refrain from shaving.
• The Talmud discusses avoiding litigation with non-Jews during this period, as it is considered to be a period of poor luck.
• Please see above regarding music.
• The Talmud discusses limiting activities in business, building, and planting in order to minimize joy. Some try to avoid expanding business activities. In any of these cases, one may be lenient where there is financial loss involved.

 
Shabbat Before Tisha B’av (Shabbat, July 25)

• This Shabbat is known as “Shabbat Chazon,” based on the haftarah we read that describes God’s first appearance to the prophet Yeshayahu.
• One may wear regular Shabbat clothes and shower as normal on Erev Shabbat.

 
Observance of Tisha B’av (Wednesday night, July 29/Thursday, July 30)

• Tisha B’av traditionally mourns the destruction of the two Batei Mikdash, the day that God decree that the generation of B’nei Yisrael who left Egypt would not enter Eretz Yisrael, Beitar was captured, and Turnus Rufus plowed the sight of the Beit Ha-Mikdash (Taanit 26a). Since the Gemara, it has taken on greater significance, mourning the Crusades, the expulsion of Jews from Spain, France, and England, and the Shoah (including the approval of the Final Solution in 1941).

         Erev Tisha B’av

• Some have the custom to not learn Torah on Erev Tisha B’av beyond that which one would normally learn on Tisha B’av (see below). However, some say the prohibition to learn only begins after Tisha B’av begins.
• We do not say Tachanun at Mincha.
• Seudah Mafseket, the meal before the fast begins, should consist of no more than one cooked item. The Rama writes that one eats a hard-boiled egg and dips bread into ashes. One may eat fruit/vegetables that are not cooked, and one may drink as needed. One should be careful to state they do not accept the fast until it actually begins in case one wants to eat/drink something additional after the official “seudat mafseket.” Ideally, it should be eaten on the floor if one is able to and not in the company of others.
  
• The fast begins at 8:13 PM.
• Minyan times are to be determined based on interest.
• Eicha will be broadcasted over Zoom.
• Explanatory kinnos will take place on Thursday morning at 9:00 AM over Zoom, featuring Rabbi Kerbel, as well as Rabbi Ely Shestack of Congregation Ahavat Achim (Fairlawn, NJ) and Rabbi Effy Unterman of Young Israel of East Brunswick.
• One should deprive themselves of comfort on some level the night of Tisha B’av while sleeping. For example, if one sleeps with two pillows, it is suggested to use one.
• If one is davening alone, remember:

               o   Tallit/tefillin are not worn until mincha. One may still wear a tallit katan without a beracha.
               o   One does not say Tachanun on Tisha B’av. Avinu Malkeinu is also omitted, even though it is a fast day.
               o   At Mincha, all individuals recited “Aneinu” in Shomeia Tefillah and “Nachem” in Bonei Yerushalayim at Mincha. Sim Shalom replaces Shalom Rav.

• The five inuyyim that apply to Yom Kippur apply to Tisha B’av: we refrain from eating/drinking, wearing leather shoes, bathing, using perfumes/lotions, and marital relations (and other forms of affectionate touch; non-affectionate touch is permitted during the day of Tisha B’av).
• Pregnant and nursing women should fast. However, like anyone else who is sick, should she feel that fasting will cause undue agony and/or medical complications, she may eat. One who eats should say make havdalah first (on coffee or pure orange juice) and say Nachem in Birkat Hamazon.
• Poskim are more hesitant about brushing teeth on Tisha B’av. Mishna Berurah permits rinsing one’s mouth in the case of great discomfort but caution should be taken not to swallow. Listerine PoketPaks are permitted.
• Deodorant is permissible on Tisha B’av.
• We do netilat yadayim in the morning up until the knuckles.
• We sit on the floor or on a low stool until chatzot (1:01 pm).
• We refrain from learning Torah on Tisha B’av. With that said, I encourage everyone to choose activities that are consistent with the mood of Tisha B’av – in that sense, learning those areas of Torah pertaining to Tisha B’av (e.g. its halachot, laws of mourning, Eicha and its midrashim, Yirmiyahu, Iyov) or Holocaust literature is appropriate. See above for additional recommendations. The shul will also be playing videos throughout the afternoon that are in the spirit of the day. There are also videos available on the Orthodox Union’s website, including live webcasts.
• Rabbi Kerbel will give a shiur at 6:00 PM on the topic of: The Role of Prayer on Tisha B’av, or the Lack Thereof
• We refrain from greeting each other throughout the day (of course, if greeted, one should respond gently).
• Fast ends at 8:46 pm. One should be sure to say Kiddush Levana either Thursday night or Motzaei Shabbos.
• Since Tisha B’av falls on Thursday, one may do laundry, cut hair, or shave all day Friday, or even Thursday night if necessary. However, we refrain from eating meat and drinking wine until Friday at noon.

 
I would like to end by reminding ourselves that we should not lose sight of the forest for the trees. While halacha helps us externally display our sense of mourning, the essence of mourning is the internal feelings we have, and as hard as it is for anyone to do, we should strive to take time throughout these three weeks to contemplate the meaning of the observance of this period. Of course, throughout this time especially, both on the fast days and in between, we should strive to treat each other and all of Klal Yisrael with the utmost respect.
 
God willing, next year, we will be in Yerushalayim, celebrating Tisha B’av as a holiday rather than a day of mourning.
 
כל המתאבל על ירושלים זוכה ורואה בשמחתה!
One who mourns Yerushalayim will merit to see it in its joy (Ta’anit 30b)!
 
May we greet Mashiach with Klal Yisrael together in the near future.
 
Rabbi Judah Kerbel